I have seen it in paintings...

Kneel

2010-11-06T20:57:00.001-07:00

Like a grandmother

Kneeling by the altar

Wishing, praying, hoping

Someone is there

Legs crack and ache

Harden wood, harden stone

Never forgiving

For your hard worked knees

And your hard worked back

God has taken them all

And given nothing back

But with a tear in her eye

Still she prays

Her tears hit the cold lifeless floor

Stained glass illuminates

The pathways and doors

Where are you god? Where are you jesus?

No one is here today

And the grandmother feels alone

Children are in school

Parents are at work

The organ is being cleaned

Pipe by pipe

Slow by slow

But the notes come tomorrow

The immigrant cleaner sucks the dust

That came with the revellers

Disinfects the coffers and the hand rails

Fills the holy water

Spills it on the floor

Neglects to clean it up

The priest sleeps in today

Today is not a holy day

So he dreams of jesus lying in bed

His bed, with him

Cuddling and kissing

Spewing forth money

To buy new robes and loin cloths

Lustfully grabbing skin

And pinching with a twist

As the world revolves around

Outside the gothic arches

And limestone blocks

Behold the lonely grandmother!

“God is here on Sundays” she cries

Staring in awe at the walls

“And every other day in my heart.

Why not today?”

She cries for her love

She cries for her children

The upbeat reverie church provides

Goes amiss with the dusk

On Sunday night

The organ sounds

But no fortunate tune

Only a tuning of the notes

And a cackle of witches breath

Hits the ears

Disgusting discordance

You sounded so beautiful at

Christmas mass

Look behind the curtain

And you will find the wizard

Full of hubris and pompous

An atmosphere not bettered

By artists and moralists

Here and then

Sitting alone in the pews

Business begins at nine

The church bells still chime

And like a grandmother

Breaking calcified bones

With the pressure of death

Do you have a year

Or an hour left?

Tangible Choice

2010-11-02T03:13:00.000-07:00

Who has a life that is worth more

Then a plant in the woods

Or plants tied to a rope in the sea?

Is your viscera waiting to escape

And claim its worth and right the throne?

Would your brain then complain and

Be represented by your heart

In an honourably fleshy

And human

Trial about humanity?

Choose your part

Your body part

Gazing then at oceans, forests and lands abroad

Cries the eyes

“without me you would want to die

or be killed by your manic depression”

Then the tongue lashes out and tries to kiss

The first face that it sees

Begging to lick and be licked

To provide the essential being for you belonging

Waiting for your three essentials, he supplies

Birth, marriage, aging

My tongue latched to a maidens

Is the best of all three

Welcome to the other side of the moon

All your flesh loses to me

I am the dirt

Who will present your flesh with maggots

Who will do you no honour

Who will die because your flesh is gone

And marrow empty

So they too shall return

But no filthy worms shall eat them

Welcome to the true essentials

Of life that is now

Time that is always

Death that is honest

No judge, trial and jury needed

For the beautiful innocent man

Where flesh cannot compete

And souls and character do not exist

Flowering in the winter the petals always grow

And fall every day

On the bed of the eternal serpent

Who makes his bed of your fear

Loss of the need of comparison and will

It is truly a time to lose and kill

Reveries of mantra, prayer and waste

Forgotten with warted tongues taste

The Venerated

2010-11-02T02:58:00.000-07:00

Leaping over stones likes frogs
Crawling through bushes thick with thorns
Cutting the thick rope around your neck
Escaping on the clouds as I stay

Studying averagely to be mediocre
Raising to the summit never seen before
Looking down at the people
Flowing tears fill the dams

No one above but the sky
The rest a myth, a thought, a lie
Nowhere been but your snowy point
Arrived for the lecture with god too late

Looking down white beard flows
Ankles crack, back bent like a bow
Wasted matter to become a climber
Too late now to have a shave

And who is it you are going to save?
A few, a place, a time, a breed?
Watching as the bodies pile up
You lit a match in your beard to keep them warm

Still they climbed, salivating, gnashing
You were scared but helped them all the same
Shut your eyes, images left
No more tears as they left you to die

Why did you try to save them all?
Did they need it, were they socially small?
Beware reads the sign one rung up
Of thinking you think as others think

Before daring to dream of heroes and kings
Think of tyrants, plebs and holy rings
Salvation was abandoned by the gods
who left nothing but fluids to mix

old and decrepit, knees cracking now
eyes bereft of sight and mind of vision
all the souls you tried to help and save
piled right up and covered you in shame

saving a robot, saving a drone
not tuned in, no need to care
who is the beast that jumps
from cliff to cliff, height to height?

Two beasts, one for each eye
Never tiring, bounding high
Knocking and kicking the corporeal back down
Laughing and singing all awhile

No need to thank them or care
They leave you alone to wilt and despair
It is not your honour they take up
But the kingdom and power of Saturn’s cup

Equilibrium restored, people are few
Try to climb, complain it is too steep
Now here lies peace, not debated
It came from the mind of the venerated

What if I create?

2010-10-31T01:33:00.000-07:00

What could be softer than wood?

Reaching beyond rafters may give splinters

In the weak forearm of flesh

Or in the mind where it suffers

The most important glands

What could be more beautiful than blood?

Existence confined within soft fleshy veins

Human, a real human, caged, the blood drips

And returns to earth, wets the soil

Patience never around as it wrestles with time

What words could be unique?

Are the phrases uttered by revolutions

Curtailed by the sun or by man?

Raising skies, falling doctrines

Philosophy to drive to apathy and aporia

And leave axiom at the wayside

What if sloth were a virtue?

Would the lands be green and inviting

Watching for you to step in its sand?

Studies rely on reading and remembering

Before long, too late

To create

Just a glimpse inward

Of what it really means

To be flying

To Be Asleep and Awake

2010-10-28T04:16:00.000-07:00

Clarity reaches the moon as a perfume
arising from your skin
sullen in its ways, I cannot see
but I can smell the sweet infectious odour
In the sky, even when asleep

Awakening
I forget lost dreams
and remember insignificant processes
that help to lay the sleepers for the tracks

Train arrives, train departs
Is this to be awake?
I cant remember the colour of your eyes
the scent of the forest
or the specific movements you perform
just for me
just for my presence
the planets keep shining in their homes
i still forget

Attempting to build a shrine
a shrine of remembrance
to remember why I am here
and why i forget that

Freedom

2010-10-28T04:02:00.000-07:00

Freedom surrounds my lips
and knocks out my teeth
swarms of written words
infect paper across time

They lift up
slowly sink
into the conscious mind
obliterating forgotten customs
and why we are here

Honey sticks to my fingers
as I chomp and spit
out the wax on the wall
contentment purely physical
I am a professional

Lost
Filling my coffers
Would you believe
I believe in this?

Preach to me nothing
I have an infectious religion to spread
contagion through sullen breath
and sunken intoxicated eyes

The animal in me forgets all that
and yearns for the sweat
the god in me remembers

all you have done
he throws away
with the tissues in the bin

Half half an abnormal sight today
but heard by tomorrow

A spear to pierce the heart or brain
Not both -
unless you really want it
I am the man who will throw
and run to catch its point with my eye

I smell your stink
I smell your stench
overriding lies bear baskets of fruit
filled with maggots
you cant see
chomping away
acrid stench for eternity

dont worry soldier!
stand up and fight!
disgust the hippies
disgust your disgusting mind
show the creator you can leave
and disgust him in due time

act and dont forget your mask
you true purveyors of the arts
throw morality out the window
kick out the ceiling glass
better to stand and die
than lie and die

Free
You are free
to connect
to reconnect
free
you are free
I am the grinder
you are the wheat
covered in cysts
cure is there!
over there!
solemn scythe
the only answer

Old Face Shows Wrinkles of Discontent

2010-10-19T05:08:00.000-07:00

Im trying to think of a life so grand
That it has a wife, house, dogs, animals
I saw this one thousand times today already
Mute answers still conveyed

Are all women frail?
Can a phallus make a man?
Forgive me my dear
you remind me of a prostitute
sans disgusting connotations
that make us learn

This circle that surrounds me
grew into a sphere
I bounced from walls and ceilings
gravity kept me grounded
While the earth orbited the sun
and floated in comparison
with whatever bubbles of gas
Trapped inside the sphere

left to watch all that possess
other cages of spheres
multiplying my fears

I waited for the change
that never happened
then it came
my circle was the same
Never achieving fame
God must be to blame

Then the shiny mirror showed me -
my face was older
You disappeared
Youth disappeared
but the start remains
the start of the circle
the many revolutions
in your sphere

Angels

2010-10-19T05:07:00.001-07:00

I am the bark that sits on a tree
and rots for eternity
I am the tree that's roots consume
all you have built
I am the lumberjack that hacks
your life from guts
I am the sharpened axe that gleams
when it flies for you
You have wasted all your time

I am the tiger ripping flesh
and blood from your bones
I am the wasp that stings
and flies with the wind
I am the eagle flying high
swooping to eat your lamb
I am the corpse, thin and crude,
that will dance with you tonight
You are the walking dead

I am the gun on the hip of god
and the bullet that flies for you
I am the olden creaking wood
added for you to burn
I am the rusted nails
forced into your flesh
I am the skeleton riding with
my horse to victory
You have a worthless life

Chameleon

2010-10-14T04:20:00.000-07:00

Iridescent chameleon climbs over stone and wood
like it were grass
Perhaps it is? Who am I
to say it is not?

A thought for a thought born in time
But what if left were right?
Would the chameleon know the way?
Would it use a mask
to cover its face
change colour on it base
Stick a lawyer on its case?

O Sweet chameleon, who put you here?
Was it to light the sky
scare people from another time?

Symbols of swords
symbols of grace
could it be that your purpose
Is to light futures way
with an iridescent glow
and opinions to sway

Looming to Fill

2010-10-14T04:19:00.000-07:00

There is your fate
in the distance
comes hurtling
speed of light
runs you over
red mist cloud
death is driving
laughing conductor
your train arrived on time

Time is now up
not for everyone
specific pointing
a bony finger signals
your time is up!
knees start shaking
cries of hurt
bounce off the walls

whole life spent
doing nothing
you thought it was everything
accumulate money
daughters married
your name lives in
a grandchild
until the plague comes
and you die again

leave it behind
no luggage allowed
not even flesh
express train to nowhere

No contribution
to society
only a job
that you loved
professional at lying
no amateur endeavours
buy a marble
gravestone with
your winnings

gamble time over
play time over
scratch the surface
was the revealed
life too hot?
Fire element
scalds your hand
afraid you run
to mummy

all those years past
afraid of fire
go to the bee hive
eat the honey
be one with the drones

multiple regrets
held inside
death will listen
turn his head and laugh
as well
cant stop smiling
he makes you dance wild
shows you what
matters in life
blank canvas
empty skulls
books of learning
wine and women
too late for you now

dead tree looming
in the desert
no shade from
the brute sun
skin is burning
leaves are missing
sit on the root
wither and die
you are worth less
than the sand
that fills death's
hourglass

Gifts

2010-10-07T04:17:00.000-07:00

I can't find or take -
tides of emotion soar above a promiscuous eternal land
then sparks the rain that drowns on one end
and nourishes on the other

Who holds the ancient bar and chain?
I shall give her the name Symbol
Let us be prettier!
More fanciful, romantic, frabjous!
She can now be called Helen;
Honourable intentions indeed

I am meticulously hiding the fact that my finding is lost
and my taking was cast aside with outgrown clothes
Like a net thrown in shallow water, it is a glorious find,
aided by a person who needs to share a hand

To aid my weakness
You need to give me something
Something? Shall I challenge my own word?
Yes! Confidence rains and falls from the eagles
You need to give me Love

Slake my thirst
establish the archaic balance
Like Helen and Nanna gone before
I don't want you to find me
I want you to give me love

Of Stories, Gazes and Inner Thought

2010-10-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

The words part lips all the time
I hear it from many lost souls on my quest
Did Jesus say it was so?

I'm staring at an ivory Christ
His head hangs to the right
all of his power and might
lost through rusted nails
told through stories and tales
I follow the conspiracies in the gale

And more stories fly in my head
While I wish my steps more in stead
I know that it seems like I fled

Yet I remain in this place
Jesus and his disciples
Resonate through nothing

All this prayer and dismay
resonates through nothing

Should I have read more books?
Studied knowledge from all of time?
Put Wisdom and Saloman up high?

Or believed in man
who I'm sure once said
I'm not afraid to die

Burnt by Shadows and Holes

2010-10-07T03:59:00.000-07:00

Don't be so sad, my friend
she is only hiding
in the wind and rain?
I told him I knew
because I saw her there before

I visit the shadows and waterfalls for love
All I find is water and
patches of earth
that get no sun

I don't live in the shadows
but it's the last place
left I can look
And I won't give up

Answers are lost
and my eyes are asleep
What to look for?
Where to go?

Shown the doorway and nothing else
My feet and back ache
All the rest goes to the side
while whispers resonate
And I wont give up

Change is the name of my friend
Nothing is the name of my love

And I wont give up

Mixer

2010-10-02T05:23:00.000-07:00

Once again im mixing lives
and im running out of masks
to paint them with

All the glorious promises
I heard and drank
Everything I gazed upon
I fell in love
where were you when the boat was sinking?
Next to me? on a raft?
or walking on the water

Open the wooden cupboard
hear it creak and moan
a naked body only hears the tunes
if warmth, cold, hunger and fear
cover it to hear what you want
playlist for free

All the running and arguing
all the focus on the right and correct
all the life on offer
all the costumes in the cupboard
masks waiting for paint

Looking for prestigious paths
Hiding in open glass jars
Draw your city in chalk
then put on your robes
to walk in

Marry yourself to smiles
create them if you will
bring along despair
and leave it with the bank

worship nothing and you will see
freedom! sea or land!
what makes this noble?

you know who is valued
each in our section of the pie

Don't eat too much!
your mask will be that of the clergy
you can float
but be on top

The gravedigger is unfortunately deaf
so before you flatter and amaze
think of your path
and prepare it accordingly

You

2010-10-02T04:10:00.000-07:00

You over there
face so strong
with stature overwhelming
your flowing hair is a lot like mine

Why stand out in the sun
when you are as nimble as a shadow
shifting throughout the day
and disappearing at night

Now it is cold
where I stand
skin shivering
Now im in the promised land

Why bother with so many
of flesh, bone and tongue
when it was already burnt
thanks to the greatness of man

Conquering general I salute
army by your side
beautiful and vile
with frown and smile
we shall meet soon
and we will stand eye to eye in the heavens,
draw and shoot,
you go first, my mortal flesh taught me
how to challenge your dogma
and ascend

As I sat and wondered
no forest to walk through
no perfume of a flower to smell
I looked out the window

In wait - the veritable forest!
every tree a different shape
each plant, flower, bee unique
the hardened dirt tough on the knees

As I looked
each rose was a thorn
intricately woven
to prick your nose for the red

Void

2010-10-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

Last night I took on a challenge
wanted for so very long
then played out behind my eyes
as I lay open and free

Feeling on the edge, some say fear
some say a sick feeling
all that is known
is an uncomfortable hand on the heart

Serenade through the night
boots stamping and hands waving
the eyes that watch your moves
are closer than even I thought

Direct contact will not save me
only confuse and leave to wonder
whatever happened to the world I can see
and touch with ancient hands

Never in the past
only a mind to unlock
and throw away the key
As I lay by my side
giving the answers within

Locked

2010-09-26T01:47:00.000-07:00

Relax sweet friend
it's coming here now
Years traipsed by, in joy
reminisced - in pain
The frabjous pairing of
love and hate
Left us lost and afraid

Assurances are paired with lies,
sprinkled from above
Locked in state for all time
only covered in a fine film of dust
frozen with hands down
not reaching for the stars

Maze of Names

2010-09-24T01:16:00.000-07:00

Something is not right here
Something has gone amiss
There are people everywhere!
But I cant see a thing

To blink is to open my eyes
split second viewing
All I see is names
Shall I choose one for my baby?
Or let them fall away with time

The trees are too silent
The earth is too fertile
The signposts are faded

The parchment is replaced
Now the map is unreadable
Does it really matter?
Can I go off the stars,
When it is daylight?

Behold! an alter from afar
Is a banquet table up close
adorning plinth with a trophy;
the triumph of one
one with nothing

I am lost in a maze of names
empty space now full
contained space now empty

lead me to my stage!
Where are the friendly ones!
Speak! I must speak
to my friends!

I am lost in a maze of names!
Your acrid curse haunts me under the moon
Even though it is day
I wade through the peat, snow and crushing dirt
to find your name!
Blessed beauty, reading your name
will fulfill me for eternity and cause
my rants
to cease!

Space no longer
Filled with dirt and organic matter
Fertilised

Only the wind brushes my hair
I look to the sky
New empty space!
Fresh and waiting for names

Bare Foot High Heel

2010-09-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

I see your legs crossed at the knee
I see you dotting your eyes and crossing your tease
I wonder why you're staring at me
I see you looking down with ease
With a pretty little smile and bunched up hair
No one revolving you stands a chance

I seriously think you're copying what I do
Does that make me the sun,
and you the moon
Or does that leave me
with a pad in my hand
and a pen in yours

She turned her body toward the aisle
I kicked my leg up and showed some hair
I pucked my lips and turned my head
She reached into her bag
and covered up her beautiful eyes
With some sunglasses on, fine and trendy
that I had been wearing from sunrise
If I had been standing, my knees would be bending

No words, softly spoken
Burning, Burning, Burning, Burning
Grim grey clouds, parted north
sky blue love, all around

Smoothest contours I have ever seen
humid land makes me keen
Sitting, staring, high heels on
accentuating and distorting, images are rife, now done
only cooled down when I winked
and saw a good old bone
with a ring

Walking, Thinking, Lying

2010-09-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

When you walk under the moon
you get left behind
Never looking at the reason why.
Soul sucked to the dark side
reveling in the secrets
rebelling at your pseudo laughter

Until you realise
The stars are all around
above and below
left and right
you will walk into your grave

Burnt with lies;
only because their worthless.
What have you left behind?
A smell? A tale?
An epitaph whose words
fade in the sun
fade in the wind
and then in the mind

Laughing at the dead
Creating an existence
to be remembered
for nothing

As I cry in the night
no tear is shed
Laughter rings the bell of
the church and calls
the commons to arms
to kneel and bow

Subservient man
already man
following paths
that clearly lead
to the freshest cemetary
where you will remain

forever and ever
Amen

Who Is This Person I Seek

2010-09-13T19:10:00.000-07:00

Who is this person I seek?
Where are the dwellings of my night?
How do such sighs invade me so
and stare at me with all my might.

Who is my love?
Where she roams I never know
to work, sweat and cry;
upon another's shoulder
and bow

Could white into black
be so pure?
I still see and smell your flesh.
Through the ink, I am so sure
Watching like the moon by day,
Point and linger at me,
this way

Crossroads of nihil

2010-09-10T02:19:00.000-07:00

I stood at a crossroads the other day
nothing was staring at me but the sun
was it morning?
was it nearing evening?
No one knows, no one cares

I was waiting for you but you didn't come
I didn't know what to think
until I read the newspaper
and viewed the funeral notices;
your dad had died.
and so had you.

I contemplated for a moment what to do,
still with the sun in my eyes
and still standing at the crossroads
of nihil
four roads, one life,
one chance

the crunch of dirt under my boots is becoming
more satisfying than that of grass,
or concrete, or asphalt
the crunch and grind of rock and sand
places me closer where i belong

Even when it started raining, i stood there,
leaning on the post without a care
but luckily with some cigarettes.
I lit one up, sheltered by my wide-brimmed hat
it fumed and piled a bunch of misery on my body;
yet i puffed and laughed

the dirt no longer crunched
the sun no longer shone
everything was predictable and futile,
just as the signs you probably will guess
before i read them to you.

nothing
everything
peace
freedom

where do you go, when you passionately believe in all of them
yet believe only in passion -
and being afraid of murderers

when I am a medic
causing extra delay on my way
to helping people is a disgrace.

My thought does not provide a bride, a fresh cigarette
or a beer;
it only makes me laugh
and my choice no harder
but further away

Forever

2010-09-09T04:53:00.000-07:00

sleep sleep
cool pleasant sleep
reality fades
to the land of dreams

why is it perfect here?
why is it perfect here?

Nightmares turn to dreams
sweeter than the world
self exported cheap
nothing to fear
nothing to fear

perfect mind
bending reality
women at your feet
ocean spray success

sleep sleep sleep

key to the scales
balance of dreams
balance of mind

pain is success
fear is a symbol
of nothing

nothing to fear

sleep

Midnight Stairwells

2010-09-04T05:16:00.000-07:00

The morning before midnight
My mind was real blurry
Focused on a person
Who took me to dance

The sun baked the window
Inviting me to wake
starting up the engine
I stood up to fight

Now I stood up tall
walking along the carpet
bare foot, shirtless
descending the stairs

I rounded the corner and was amazed at what I found
Here was nothing but a mannequin
she looked fine
So I asked her to dance

The morning after midnight
Before the rays hit
the night was dark and warm
and the vibe was as sweet as you
Windy, rainy, cloudy
all helped to make it calm

When we sit and stare
at the cogs and cobwebs
creating can be as easy
as joining bricks with mortar

People are so friendly
mixed in a world of cement
so they stick together
and want to get hard

so ill walk over you
with muddy boots
dropping cigar ash
and singing a tune

worthless evening over
nothing in my hand
wish it was yours
would i still be sad?

I know you will find me

2010-08-24T03:20:00.000-07:00

If hate was planted in air and space
confined within twisted steel and earth
what would grow?
What would we say?

When the bush that grows
was a flesh plant
permanently opposing its seed

Love! Love!
Love!
The ugly beast reared its head
and blew a sigh of relief

The morning brought buckets
of warm knowledge
used to bathe
the masters of wisdom

Stride length astounding
tidy muscles kept in check
A mind who balances in the skull
viewing images of
renaissance masters
images of beauty
Astounding beauty!

Coming from the depictions of women
You grew the seed of love inside me

The hate tree stands
tall and proud
but a
torrent
of love
formed the rivers and the lakes
that balances Thoth's scales

A disjointed Picasso
You were there
gorgeous
radiating

flesh so pure

Dressed for work, ready for life
applying the mandatory face;
your own is a
mountain
covered in snow

Legs to worship
Limbs of flowing golden wheat
dipped in a fine gold to escape
the scythe
perfect plan
only you could make
something so simple
as golden as the sun

Your hair released
filled the void
between the greatest chasms

Of you and I

Caressing gently, touching soft
The condition I'm in
is all for you

Still!
The philosopher stands!

Until you smiled.
My chest exploded.
My cheeks went red.
O' hopeless man!

Brought back to earth by a woman
Red lips pulsing a flash
of a smile
crushed my heart;
and reformed it
so it may pass true on
the scales

Now I write, yes
To calm the wake
mesmerised and perplexed in a bizarre world
You are beautiful

And I don't even know your name

Winds fly by my hair

Our hearts will keep us close forever

Yet our minds know;
We will never see each other again

Do you believe in love?

2010-08-24T03:19:00.001-07:00

A time to hear a bell

2010-08-24T03:14:00.000-07:00

As I cry in the night
no tear is shed
Laughter rings the bell of
the church and calls
the commons
to arms;
to kneel and bow.

Sub servant man
already dead
following paths
that clearly lead
to the freshest cemetary

where you will remain

forever and ever

amen

Another night in the sky

2010-08-24T03:09:00.000-07:00

When you walk under the moon
you get left behind;
Never looking at the reason why
Soul sucked to the dark side
Reveling in secrets
Laughing at the limbless that is lifeless

Until you realise
The stars are all around
above and below
left and right
you will walk into your grave

your fate is
to die;
your life is complicated -
what a great time to die!

Burnt with lies
only because their worthless.
What have you left behind?
A smell? A tale?
An epitaph whose words
fade in the sun
and then in the mind

Gods can die
Gods will die
Gods are dead
But the one true God
is me

Laughing at the dead
Creating an existence
to be remembered

for nothing...

journeys

2010-08-11T02:20:00.000-07:00

Hello people

Despite the lack of updates, I have written heaps of poetry and philosophies and I hope to get old and new ones up regularly.

The world is beautiful and has inspired me for the next wave of writings.

Enjoy!

Jacques

the wine

2010-02-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

the wine reveals my mood
to be of satisfaction
but only for myself
as it seems that when i talk
nobody listens

one day is sweet and full of flavour
the next is dour
some people die for this
while i keep on ticking

complete innate happiness
beset by being lonely
i only want to be by myself
until someone walks in the room

craving blooms of sweet bred flowers
lying softly on the bed of the lake
hush my dear, im listening
to the sounds of my ear

the sonics are beautiful and changing
flowing with the mood
while i came around
i never found you

sitting still dreaming
sick and angry of who you are with
i picture you with me
then picture myself dead

enough to tear my hair out
enough to be content
while i sit hear wanting
a new part of me has intent

no i aint giving up
yes i already have
cool concrete breeze is killing
the free i have in me

leaving

2010-02-19T14:18:00.001-08:00

i tried to leave town
but i couldnt
fear arose
then was cut
and put
in a vase

goodbye to forever

2010-02-19T14:04:00.000-08:00

see you thinking
i got the key to the gate
the gate of society
the gate of mine
not of nanna

who will turn in their sleep first
who will shed the first tear
do i think these things?
should i think these things

driving into the dawn
with a picture of my girl
if i dont slow down soon
im gonna have to hurl
back seat driver
front seat friend
listen to neither
end up off the bend
without a tailor to mend

fresh rose cut and left
where lovers walked
picked up and brought to me
gracious and happy
to have some sweet red
in my life

throw money into the pond
should throw your life
one and the same
liquid torrents rushing
bring new creatures
flat and round
same thing remains

we have our time
we have none

bringing songs on guitar
to show some light
what remains
is the light
off your candle
lit for me
burnt by you
i tried once
i lied never
scared and trying to find
where my sayings lie

branching

2010-02-19T13:42:00.000-08:00

walking always with a purpose
but with nothing to say
you walk along a path
sometimes concrete, sometimes dirt
as a person walks by, you ignore them
only to wish they said hi
or glance a stare that says
"why didn't you look at me?"
and as you twinkle along to the next star
you stare at the faces in the crowd
longing to be one
longing for one

crescent moon gives you no hope
nor says anything that you will use
reiterate the doctrine and follow
in your own way
tell others you are free like the wind
and as holy as a priest
yet the roots from your soul
are dug deep in the soil of society
that lie at the brushes
near your feet

forgetting that the sun will rise tomorrow
in the east
you step once more the darkness
although you cannot see
you insist on placing yourself in
a dangerous situation
including falling in a ditch
approximately six foot deep

pray to the gods
for they are beautiful
and remember the colours
bright and unforgiving
that once splattered your palette
and gave birth to nothing more
than what anyone else did
but you glanced sideways,
then turned back and looked again
a wry smile formed on your face
and i know why
it was always your mind
that created the extravagance
and made it your own
then explained to the minions
why they should do the same

take off your sunglasses mister
see the blurry light, it flashes
and looms and resides
deep in your mind
flash back to the tiger in the street
then breathe the fumes of a new millennium
soak up our time
then spit out nothing
this one will take a bit longer
but its fun just the same

alone blues

2010-01-24T08:06:00.000-08:00

people keep coming around
but im never home
just leave me in this hole
so i can leave you

when im alone im singing
but dreaming of you
when you come around knocking
i get so sick of everything but...

i treat you bad
for that im sorry
i understand your decision
it is I who lead you there

my punishment goes on forever
girls they keep leaving me
i know its my doing
but it leaves me in my hole

when i fall asleep
visions so strong
i see the perfect woman
and she leaves me alone

2010-01-21T11:00:00.000-08:00

Hold not onto trees with leaves
the lynchers will find you

come back ascended

2010-01-21T10:34:00.000-08:00

Once again the tide has turned
the moon pulled it up
and dropped it back down
into my lap. I wondered and
cluttered for such a long time
about nonsense and life
but not about death

then when the alarm ticks over
and you naturally formulate words,
the power shows you paths while
the mind shows you openings;
im not sure how i succumbed

then awake from this pathetic slumber
and rise above the clouds, while trying
to touch the moon. Scary thoughts can be
misleading until you have been shown how

In a moment of perfect clarity I arose - stricken with a curse that leaves me blessed
No one has a gaze fixated on black bells
as the people of the earth file into church.
Standing back, the grass is not green, yet it is sweet and sounds like bliss
aching physical elements beset by the truth
that there is none, so we will have to choose
life lies not for the wicked, but the smart
the journey to winds afar lead me to the true heaven's door,
waiting like a clandestine warrior ready to pounce

happy was he to see me! not many venture this way
the mould and stink of fresh air i still remember
no turning back, no need to fret
as I saved the secrets to emancipated mind, justice served
and saved the gate from rotting with my brain

Omni

2009-05-07T13:03:00.000-07:00

Omnipresent are my eyes that see
the true world
a truth clinging to a lie

transparent are my hands
that touch, not me
but the truth to see

evaporating beliefs that leave
before you
or I can see

Ubiquitous remains the topic
of discussion
for I am free

You see me in flesh
my God
and choose to believe

while i condescend
into pavement rhetoric
im bored, you see im angry

questions asking why
will never, represent
who I am

Faking is different to acting
come along
I still need to live, to breath

left laughing
as you kneel
up high

I still see
how I rise
above ancient rites

harrowing are the halls
that shine, with death
and leave life behind

coming into a presence
that breathes
yet does not, consider to speak

how we as me
choose pain
hidden in life

Networking as one
with a society
that some do not sense

hold nothing against
I choose to stand
and rise my soul in pride

omnipresent is my soul
in this earth
as I pave new paths to come

omnipresent are the souls that see
despite articulation of voice
that I shall rise

Let the broken hearted speak

2009-04-24T13:24:00.000-07:00

Let the broken hearted speak their mind
For yours is the incense of this time
Praise the shadows, Praise the sun
Choose the harrowing winding path

Never easy, never shy
Never one to wonder why
Caught in a web of trickling time
Never stopping to play with the sullen sand

Smash the tables, smash the food
Smash the solemn graven mood
For I saw the rapture, covered in bliss
Too close to touch, too far to cry

When I pour off a cliff in your arms
You let me fall, you let me shine
When death seems certain you draw near
And whisper nothing into my ear

How the silence shames!
It pokes and prods my burning heart
Living a dream, never to awake
Perpetual nightmare wakes me inbetween

Afraid of lines and curves to come
The bell never rings, the sun never dies
Once again caught in an array of webs
Spun by the finest of chilling lies

Behold the life of rhetorical rhymes
Life gets up and fashionably flies
Over the moon, over a house
Over to the plush orange speaking tree

Here I am lying in wait
The tick of the clock on comfort to go by
When I get the noise of sirens
I fight the urge to fly on, up into the sky

Grant me peace, my favourite Lord
Allow me peace to rectify reason
Cloudy judgement makes judgement fair
By revealing the coin in your hand

So if this pain should take me now
Turn it into a ball
Throw it at the nearest soul
Who hitched along for a ride

Gates open wide into the forest
Final test of time
Do you dare to run when walkers rule
The omnipresence of my other life

Down to the cellar I retreat
Bandage wounds and find some wine
I will heal but need a change
From the scalding burn of trapped city lies

Breathe me know
Know my name
Shout it from the rafters
If I should fail myself
Grab my wings and let me convalesce

Spread out wide, wings of hope
Spread out wide, wings of truth

Give your injection, just above the ear
Don’t worry about the hurt you will cause
Find me a reason to not love everyone
In a world that is created by whom?

Show your true face, I command
Show your true face, I will find you

Singing dance of long gone by
Drag me with the wind
In my heart you find pain, but
In my head you find the will to life

Creation of will

2009-04-24T12:55:00.000-07:00

Who brought the storm instead of rain
a beating drum, a beating chest
who brought the will instead of pain
who gave the air power to breathe

Lying in summons of no one
while I rest my head on your rock
Let me slide into a time
where confusion and prayer weren't so ashamed

Where are they now?
My friends that solemn last
I take a dose of love
and spread it all around

Do not discount my spinning mind
inside lies answers to another time
yes it will be good, yes the sorrow burns
yes i will be waiting when life returns

Frozen in a lake of forebearer's tears
pouring out my heart off the cliff
In creeps shadow, in creeps doubt
and leaves the guilt behind

But what if i was right?
But what if they are not ready for my time?
I cross my arms to protect my chest
that bellows out for a long lost friend

Feeble sickles hack the wheat
spinning yarns from side to side
looking up to see the light
from the sun, not from your eyes

Breathe a breath of a thousand dreams
Let me lie in baths of solace
engage me with a heart that shines
and leaves the rain behind

2009-04-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Living Flesh of My Life

2009-04-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

A piercing blue stare awaits me
in the morning as I sit on your shore.
It was the sun,
reflected off the deepest pocket of azure sky.
I await in your arms,
and cry out to heaven your name.
A seraph with a trumpet once came,
assuring me the mellow sound of
brass and wind,
will not sound until you leave me.
This will hurt so I pray
using your lips and tongue as my soul
and your smiling face as my wave.

Be gone! all doubles of self!
For the test of time is now
and the wind brings sweet songs
and smells from no other land than ours.

Entwined in bed, wanton rise
In love at the table, behave right so
there is a man in the snow,
and a man in the sun

Turn your autumn shade toward me
and let me lie
with the living flesh of my life
to comfort me until death

sordid mind

2009-04-13T01:25:00.000-07:00

Forgive the contusions of the mind
but there is a hammer that lashes
down for a blow
down for a blow
leaving some senseless
leaving some serene

Forgive the hammer
it was the anvils fault
praise the almighty aura
that saved you from the grave

What do I do?
What do I do?
frozen mid-stride at full-sprint
look of fear fixed upon your face
array of options pulled apart in your chest

Living the moment
is not the perfect dream
when caught in time with a world of brochures
selling the perfect lie and dream

I chose mine!
I chose mine!
do not leave me in waste
I was promised a never-ending dream
and was sent a sleepless dream

Forgive the contusions of the mind
but there is a hammer that lashes
down for a blow
down for a blow
leaving some senseless
leaving some serene

Who is King?

2009-04-13T01:14:00.000-07:00

The angel of light spoke to Man
"trust and love your heart,
follow the mind
lose the shadow"

For what makes a precocious mind
bleed over the paper that
reads for himself?
sanity in question, never to allow

Enter realms of transcending light
wood to stone, glass to horror
one path diverges into six
each with a different soul to sell...

"Here I am! forget God and
enjoy carnal pleasures!"
"Here I am! take the road most trodden,
the soil is soft and fertile!"

"Kill the others!
Come with me, take my hand!"
"Forget them, they know what they do,
follow me in past the eye..."

"Forget all, come this way,
we can pretend to be magicians"
"...
..."

The sixth who was the third
spoke none at all,
but a gothic archway
led to an elaborate catholic church

The eagle perpetually stands tall
symbols come seeping out of the stone
before you realise this is not a religious place
but a gateway to unknown psyche

riding the vessel

2008-11-22T10:30:00.000-08:00

a man is a vessel
stopping at ports at sea
picking up, dropping off
destination not enough

if you jumped aboard a plane
would it ever land
would you care where
if destinations are not your plan

useful vessel, pretty vessel
never understand
why you would go somewhere
without a greater plan

not here to dream
not here to wait for heaven
somewhere out there
is a page to tear

picking up pace
running through the forest
about to miss a plane
to shoot you to your fame

back to the plan
where are you going
house, car or cave
or straight to the grave

load me up
send me high
immortal soul
or lifeless ghoul

missed the plane
missed the plan
back on the ship
enjoying the trip

where to now

2008-10-21T02:49:00.001-07:00

where would you rest
knowing there are two sides to every coin
beautiful life races on by
while you read by the moonlight

crying of constructions of long gone by
forgetting the wise, remembering the now
words placed with haunting omnipresence
each stroke a loss of time

never to return, never to fade
a structurally sound construction
will stand longer than natures own
where do you keep your vicissitudes?

a past present brings so much joy
how you doin? im just rollin on by
ecstatic to see the sun
in the east or west

what of the lands with no day or night?
emotions still rise and fall with the sea
the grass is greener on the other side
you should go there and see

what of the beauty that transcends the natural shift?
that which is present for evermore
take wisdom from a rock or grain of sand
not of fractured minds

and pray to God "where to now..."

ode to laughter

2008-09-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

Pirate on a boat
Soldier on the land
What I thought was funny
The lion said was bland

Adult in the shower
Child releasing poo
What I thought was funny
Was the decoration on the loo

Mammal in the water
Mammal in the air
What I thought was funny
Was a bum shaped like a pear

Goat on the mountain
Sheppard in the grass
What I thought was funny
Was distinctions based on class

Skin on the flesh
Flesh on the bone
What I thought was funny
Was a gratuitous death moan

Lying on a bed of steel
Isn’t for the poor
It is for the pretentious types
For whom normal art is a bore

Twisting to the music
Dancing to the song
What I thought was funny
Is how a g-banger can be a thong

Empty Halls

2008-09-23T04:01:00.003-07:00

I hear the voice in me
As I stare to the west
Exalted sin
Morphs with the wind

Unholy immolation
Necessary to proceed
Paths that were trodden
Are mysteriously not

Blast from the east
I breathe from the soul
Writhing in pain
I became reticent

When it all makes no sense
Is when I awake
No map or guide or squire
To ask the way of a stranger

Sometimes I cannot see in front
Without a fault in my eyes
No veil, shield or wall
But a trick from my mind

I turn and dream
Of free thought
What binds me within
I cannot be sure

Down
In the depths of skies
I can hear it calling
Right in front of my eyes

Vast dimensions beyond reach
Perpetual through time
Listen to the drums
Pounding from afar

I once had everything
Chasing dogma through corridors
I finally caught the disease
The disease of emptiness

Hollow cavities are filled
As the water falls
From the mountains…
This is what she said

“stalk the night into the day
disregard what you find
pray to the god of dark and death
and be interested in the answers you find”

I realised I was dreaming
And my next action would be last
When the sun escapes the moon
I chose the door that was unlocked

Zipping through the world unknown
In a blink and eternity at once
Clearly displaying the link
Between awake and sleep

Sleep tight little one
Snuggle into bed
The dreams that play in rest
Might be what is suppose to run in your head

Waving to Death

2008-09-09T03:32:00.000-07:00

Sliding down a maze of mirrors

I lift my veil to see

A light shone back and forth

handing out a key

Down I went

starting to enjoy the ride

catching a glimpse in my eye

I turned to hide

Soft kisses of life gone by

love reigned from the wind

there I saw the mighty breath

blowing the autumn leaves

How I laughed at

the joy of my trip

hee hee ha hee ha hee ha

Waving to death I grab her bony hand

She swings me up, gave me five

just before I reached the end.

thoughts on mountains

2008-08-30T01:08:00.000-07:00

traipsing on paths from earth itself

day provides a gleam of hope

the sun it struck right on the cross

breathing words through skin and bone

i see the structure lie before me

ominous and particular in shape, style and matter

what i know as words permeate my mind

and exit through permanent wounds

i pulled up beside that cross

made of wood and nail

i saw the faces of generations ago

i saw pity, hate and hope

sitting down beyond the trees

staring at the grave

i realised that it wasnt day

it was night, all my own

in the split of a second

i morphed from random traveller

to experienced philosopher

if i had written the waves down

I too could have been a saint

instead i sat and watched

till the sky turned grey and cold

i slaked my thirst

and stretched my veins

but the cross still remained

perplexed i looked up to the heavens

which apparently you are meant to do

i saw no heaven or tongues of flame

delivering a message worthy of a King

still i could not look away

then i realised why

what caught my attention

was the beautiful night sky

dont you pray

2008-08-23T03:23:00.000-07:00

appearences of the dead

to be sustained

wallowing in grief

fighting to the end

rolling in fields of lies

charging down the dead

catch a leaf in the air

bow your head in shame

shower with peppered taints

you were deceived by a saint

dont you pray for the dead

life and love were the sinner

blood run down the side of my face

it has been there forever

i just cannot remember

why i pray for the dead

howling winds scream

feel it through your hair

seek for answers to nothing

one step at a time

dont you pray for the dead

their life is one and the same

Mortuus Ad Victus

2008-08-09T02:58:00.000-07:00

Seth suddenly came to a stark realization – what he wanted with his life was different to the rest of his classmates. Very different.

“Seth Arioch?”

There was a silence of about half a second.

“I want to be a Nazarene Slayer” he said.

Jaws dropped to the floor all around as Seth’s genuine smile and overwhelmingly positive attitude beamed throughout the small English classroom at Anchor High.

There was a silence of about half and hour. Or what felt like it.

On that fateful day six years ago, Seth realized what he wanted to do in life, yet had no idea on how to manifest this.

Until today.

September 38, 2068. Standing in a darkly illuminated corner of the 21^st Century Shoppe in Brisbane’s CBD, Seth saw the watershed between what is known and what is not known – a CD from the year 1990.

The ugly looking disc was not what interested Seth though. It was a song title on the back:

8. Iconoclasm Sweeps Cappadocia

Seth had wanted to be a Nazarene slayer because it was the pinnacle of all things to be killed. Defeating a raging lion in battle with nothing but your bare hands is easy. Destroying a God is not. Seth always set the bar high for himself.

Highly technical semiotic analysis is part of the schooling program in the present day and society would not function without symbols as intricate as the first Mona Lisa painting. Forget crosses and buttons. Think of a highly developed brain that can calculate with the speed of a computer and the intelligence and wisdom of a human.

Seth was always proud of his abilities and was always at the top of his classes. Which is why, in Seth’s mind, all religion, saviours and Nazarenes must die. Only one of the primitive symbols remain – the catholic cross. Seth had this in his cross-hairs.

“It’s only 2 lines” was all Seth could whisper as he remained staring at the cover of the CD for minutes on end.

Seth never thought the church was bad. He just realized that for himself to continue living a full life, all religious symbols must be destroyed. This is not for anyone of the populace, the dream people who float in and out of reality every four years or so. This is for him. Smash two lines. Target, destroy and erase.

Brisbane as a society learnt with the world. Thousands of buildings made in the ancient sandstone have been pulled down over the years and replaced with massive gothic structures, with high door and arch ways and a multitude of flying buttresses. The intricacy and detail of the 16^th century is the norm across the world, with materials and skills needed to design the structures impeccable.

And yet the cross remains. Seth walked out of the store knowing what he needed to do. Brisbane needs Arioch to sweep its streets with iconoclasm.

Taking one step out of the door, Seth was met with a myriad of options. Shall I talk to someone, shall I walk in a crowd, shall I spend some money in a shop…

Out of nowhere Seth stopped and looked to the sky. The brilliant azure shone in and around the earth on a perfect day. Looking at the dirt, stone and glass that lined the city before his gazing eyes, he spoke to the wind.

“We were wrong then. This city has been destroyed and rebuilt. We are wrong now”

Turning to his left, Seth caught a glimpse of a beautiful woman walking along with a small child. Her smile was broad and genuine and her brown hair flowed in a prescribed wave again and again over her neck and shoulder. The child started staring at Seth, his young innocent face a ball of curiosity as his brown eyes pierced straight into the heart of Seth Arioch.

He couldn’t help but laugh.

Seth decided to go home before things got too serious. Turning to cross the street, he thought how lovely the day was. The mammoth building in front of him gleamed in the sun. It was as if some holy light was shining upon his sweaty forehead.

Little did Seth know, a holy light was shining upon him. Very holy indeed.

Seth was not aware of this. And probably will not be aware of this until he dies.

As it turned out, God had been following Seth since he proclaimed “ I want to be a Nazarene Slayer”. Upon hearing this, God was perplexed and also extremely curious. He sat in his ultra-dimensional throne and pondered. After approximately half and hour, he called to the nearest Seraph standing guard at the interest to his chambers.

“ Morgan” he said inquisitively.

“Yes Lord, holy trinity, father of the…”

God cut him off with a question

“Am I good?”

“Yes, father, absolute, the good of all good…”

“the evil of all evil?” asked God.

“No, Father! Do not even utter the word, we are in heaven!"

“Oh, yes…” God was bored now and got straight to the point.

“Do you want to kill me?”

Morgan was stunned. A look of fear swept across his face. He thought God knew something that he might do in the future that he had no idea about now.

“God!” proclaimed Morgan, “No!”

“For anything I do to you, I am sorry, Father. I serve you and no other. You can see into the future, I cannot. Please forgive me, and spare my wings”

It is customary in heaven to tear all six wings of a seraph and throw them to hell to be burnt.

But God cannot see into the future, he only uses the past to create realistic situations that may or may not occur.

“It is alright, Morgan my son. I was after a response from you, and the answer you gave was full of trust and love. I hold no grudge. Please continue your watch, you have my love”

“Thank-you father, God bless”

“God bless”

Morgan scuttled back to his position, not knowing what just occurred. His mind was so focused on protecting God, he duly forgot the conversation in 5.3897 seconds. God did not.

God only tries to help people. He truly does.

God sat there, on his throne of cloud, gold and dust, wondering why someone would want to spend their life tracking him down and killing him, just as they did his son, Jesus. But that is another story.

So he decided to keep an eye on Seth throughout the years. Why?

God is afraid to die. Yet on the other hand, he is quite inquisitive.

So after all these years of watching over Seth, God grew quite fond of him. And that is why he decided to protect him against the Zombies.

Yes, zombies. The living dead had sprung up on earth to unleash hell. And Seth was about to have his first encounter.

The small child with the beautiful woman was still in front of Seth. Everything was normal, until Seth realized the small child was eating the beautiful woman’s foot.

Her left foot, to be exact.

She was hobbling around on her right foot, with the detached other foot in her child’s mouth. Behind her lay a continuous line of smeared blood over the asphalt. Then a peculiar thing happened. The beautiful lady picked up the small child like you would a melting ice-cream. Except instead of licking it, she bit off the entire head. Blood was spewing forth from her mouth and the childs neck. Seth stood in amazement at how she managed to bite off the childs head in one go.

She looked over at Seth. He thought his time was up, but she gave him a disgusted look and threw the childs decapitated carcass at him. He covered his face with his hands and grimaced. The carcass smashed into his side, knocking him over. The blood from the severed body flicked around in an arc similar to if you put a dripping wet paintbrush in an Olympic discus thrower’s hand just before starting the spin.

The woman then ran over to Seth when he was on the ground. He was dazed, confused and scared. To his dismay, she kicked him up the ass, sending his face head first into the bloody headless body in front of him. Rolling around, Seth jumped to his feet. She wasn’t there.

She was eating a nearby man’s bowels. He had ceased living and lay on the ground, arms outstretched, and shirt up high enough for the woman to catch a glimpse of untouched soft flesh. She went straight for the bowels, ripping apart the flesh and sticking a long-nailed hand pulled out a long strand of entrails. Without hesitation, she shoved the guts into her mouth and swallowed without chewing.

As you do.

That was enough for Seth.

“Fuck this, im outta here” he said to himself, and legged it around the corner – to see a man eating his penis.

Seth threw up. The splash of vomit on the concrete was enough for the zombie to turn his head and look straight at Seth. Strangely enough, he decided the delicacy in front of him was too good and continued munching away. Blood was running down the path and into the gutter. The unrecognizable face of the zombie was covered in blood. Nothing but a constant pump of blood arose from his groin, much like a common garden fountain.

It was at this time that Seth realized this was his fault. He had failed to slay the Nazarene. And because of this, people are suffering. If there was no God, there would be no suffering. Only God himself could conjure such a blasphemic plague, to punish the “evil” humans.

Seth didn’t really care right now. He wanted God dead.

God’s interest suddenly arose. Although he had nothing to do with the zombies, he thanked whoever was involved. The case of slaying the Nazarene was once again open.

Seth did not even know where to start. Dismembered bodies were traipsing through city, eating random bits of flesh. In despair, Seth called out:

“Show yourself God! We need to talk”

nothing happened. Seth began to open up. The words coming out of his mouth were like fire from a volcano, spitting and scathing.

“ I thought not, you gutless worm. Darkness and death I desire, not you. Leave me on Earth with the zombies!!! That is better than breathing the same air as you, you fucking lame magician!!!”

God sat high in his throne of cloud, gold and dust. He heard everything Seth had said. Unfortunately, there was not a lot he could do. He did not know how to show himself on earth. He wished nothing more than to take a human form, show himself to Seth, and ask him as many questions as a mortal man would wish to ask a God.

He did not know how to talk to people on earth.

He did not know how to change things on Earth.

All he can do is view the Earth and its happenings and predict what is going to happen. For some reason everyone wants him dead.

Except for Seth.

He just wants to kill him.

*Stay tuned for part II - heaps more zombie blood death! hail!

hi spu

2008-08-02T04:25:00.000-07:00

give me a durrie

durrie, sustenance, life

my world is durrie

* this poem is dedicated to matty bennett and is about bogons buying durries from you when you work in a servo

what have you got to eat

2008-08-02T04:01:00.000-07:00

a man screams "what have ya got to eat cuuuuuunnnnt"

while another lies down on the shore

a woman does the same thing

but for some reason it is different

not much makes sense anyway

except the laughter and the cart

everything else including words

are really just an empty filler within the boundaries of the world

fake palm trees and golden promised roads dont fool the stupid

within the light mind you reign victoriously

no wonder no one can see reality

it is constantly shaped by the dark and the winds of saturn

not just winds but water

you thought they were joking

when a fictional fiction prophesised the planets

so sorry to disappoint you mighty siren

not a song to sing in tune

not a story to write in genre

not a picture to last a lifetime

not a way to move in a prison

the key to emancipation is the key

use it to set yourself free

dont run and hide, dont be a joke

dont be ashamed, your just not as tuned as some folk

Step right up!!!

2008-07-12T03:31:00.000-07:00

Here come the carnival filth
failing to even walk
let alone put on a show
vagrants moved on. removed.

Ha Ha!
So hard done by
I forgot to realise
everyone else is living a life

you take plain and turn it complicated
although your brain does not function
i can understand you breathe
i can not understand you are still alive

Never seem to die
left alone, untouched, hiding not in shadows
but behind a political bureaucracy
which anyone with a brain
realises is fucked

laugh it up, carni clown
your physical presence is needed
not to ensure life and equality
but to make the votes for the rich

who for some unpredictable reason
also hold power

Shroud

2008-07-12T03:09:00.000-07:00

Release this fury
malediction
purported to decline
I believe, here to rise

eating out the days
grinding away
crossing the seas
biting the sting

revealing chosen death
glamorous to describe
horror to feel
difference not known to the wit

people designed to suffer
people designed to hate
some are here as an afterlife buffer
some are here to descriminate

circle the groups
neverending
nevermore shall we find the end
a time is lost, another starts
some an essential configuring
others a heartbreaking loss

2008-07-11T03:29:00.000-07:00

soft reverberations
feelings of dread
feelings of might
lead to the point
lead to an opening

crawl indefinately
as tears fall
crawl so others
obsessed with vanity
may fall

sprung from the turf
returned to feed
chase the shadow down
while you still breathe

memento mori

memento mori

memento mori...

How much time do I assign to ascend?

2008-06-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

Reborn unto a tyrant
left sleeping under a hallowed rock
turn to me and just listen
the sounds of organs
and trumpets are near

And he shall be accountable
tried, tested and truthful
he never stands a chance
with Job in the room

Why the hatred?
Why the malice?
All I ever did was love you
and you used me in roulette
as the dice
while the devil was the wheel
and satan the dealer

He saw you coming
lord of all lords
your son died... for what?
to afflict the most true
and loyal human
with the plague
did you forget he worshipped you?

Now we sit in a worthless trial
the room vanishes
you are told
GOD IS DEAD
your stories do not sit
if another human loved me
I would give them my life
If you had not played
with minds
and twisted motives
now everyone is strong,
just like god!!!

while others weep
I play with my pen
remembering the plague sent
that I am part of still

Your time is up

2008-06-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

So pure, now

reach out for injustice

find a soul while you are here

the air is fresh and the day is young

wander into a chasm of fear

and hear not the cries

of old flesh leaving bones

but new gurgles of an infant at your breast

Clear a space amongst the trees

amongst the houses, amongst the stone

for when a town is levelled

the dust will once again settle

I need to be an entrepreneur

2008-05-18T02:51:00.000-07:00

Now this interests me. While searching for something completely random I stumbled across this web page called Tramp Lamp.

I suppose the name says it all.

"Tramp Lamps are one of a kind hand made lamps crafted out of Vintage and Modern women’s clothing". Kelly Kerrigan is the talented lady behind all this.

Brilliant. The designs are actually quite funky and appear to come with a great functional use - lighting. On a positive note, the designer actually thought about this as the garments seldom go up in flames.

Show this to one of those whingy-whiney people who can never find the right bedside lamp - this could be the one that you are searching for.

Stay tuned for the gimp...

(Photo from tramplamp.com)

Out of tune

2008-05-11T02:44:00.000-07:00

and then it occurred to me...
a man by the name of space-rocketeer 3628 appeared to me in a dream the other night and explained the basis of time travel.

Upon awaking, I was hoping that it involved urinating all over my bed because I had an extreme urge to piss. Unfortunately it wasn't, and I had to walk 6m to the toilet.

and I forgot, of course.

Until tonight.

space-rocketeer 3628 had been simple, plain and concise: Use compact discs.

cd's

that was the secret.

apparently, if man had have used his nouse when developing cd's, the same principal could have been applied to time. that principle is:

1. a cd has a beginning and an end (not so good)

2. along this cd, a "laser" can read specific moments in time and replay them (thats ok)

3. if a perfect sequence of ff and rew are used, the beginning nor the end of a cd can be found, played or stopped (it gets better!!!)

4. instead of developing lasers to read metallic grooves, man had to spend merely another 568 years to develop the "first" time machine. This machine would use a force (human, not laser) to read an object (the universe, not metallic grooves). Simple. The time needed is in respect to human needs to do other things in life such as reproduce, drink intoxicating beverages and start wars where millions die a horrible death. The result - there is no beginning and there is no end. A human (like you and me) can jump between anywhere on the disc (universe).

5. Rewind too far, you will not die (sort of bad). You will end up near the end.

6. The technology takes a lot longer than 568 years now that we cocked up our first chance

space-rocketeer 3628 explained this in great detail. I merely sighed.

"whats up?" said a confused space-rocketeer 3628

"i suppose it is up to me to learn from my cds"

"is that so bad?"

"no" i said, matter of factly. "its good"

"then why the long face?"

"i want it now, not in 568 years"

"then blame the impatient dude that cocked it up for everyone"

that dude had the opportunity. space-rocketeer 3628 filled me in, he has been there and seen the original events unfold. A man named kees was a scientist, obviously intrigued by space and time travel. upon learning of a new system of applying his compact disc formula to time and space, he became frightened, thinking god would not let him into heaven.

at this time there was a knock at his door. he felt like he had just come out of a 5 day drug binge. he was small and scared. somehow, he answered the door.

"Mr kees?"

kees stared

i represent the sorny corporation. we hear you have a method of storage developed which is perfect for video and sound...

the rest is history. unfortunately, god got the better of kees. but not of space-rocketeer 3628. and certainly not of me.

Come with me into the night...

2008-05-11T01:56:00.000-07:00

I only just appeared on this midland forest
and I have loved every forest, every person
The men walk past, full of hubris and exerting power from the pocket
at their libidinal impotence I laugh
orders from you I take not
and wait for your time to come

then come the women
lovely ladies who exert exuberance and joy at life
others who hold the hand of the dogmatic hound
it is quite possible to forget them
as they lie on top of the mountain
and forget to go inside

i must sing the praise of the lovely woman
not scarred, paused or undermined
possibly only Schluter could have carved
a figure that is matched by beauty for every point sinister
i know you are there
I will find you

There are only a few I have met
who hold mind and spirit above bosom
For the mix to create eternal life
lies with you
me
and abnegation of power
weight

The path is beautiful yet harsh and true
more thorns than roses
but you, my dear friend
I need you to hold my hand during night and day
so we can reveal what is fake and what is true within society
for no one but ourselves for once

For our path takes us to the real Oz
not a dream, poem or vision
and thankfully as I am sad
I find some friends to laugh with and some friends to cry
worthy additions to our party
out of billions they somehow arise

Time now does not boil over
apathy replaced by gladness up high
no it did not make the sleepness nights any harder, easier, fewer or more
but it made a whole eternity as sense and purpose became clear
just you and me - friends, travel, art, breath

and immortal...
life eternal

Here lies glory

2008-05-10T15:51:00.000-07:00

Never knew what was a dream
what was a tale, what was a lie
i set my eyes, fixed in trance
upon stone and liquid,
all from the land

my dear baroque images abound
never have you spoken to me
only been the present force
when i commune with a giant
from a far away land

then it came to pass
as all hope for life wasted out of a tired body
that the god i had been seeking
was sculpted by a man

inspirations for a king
apprenticeships for the government
what has transpired this day
will be here forever

true everlasting life in the warm lips
of a lover, true and tried, false and lied
as i recount situations abound
in the heart of one, it remains
never to be found

Short Story - Honesty is a policy

2008-04-12T02:27:00.000-07:00

It hasn't always bothered me. It just seemed to be there. It is as ubiquitous as the air we breathe. But no matter how much I try, this feeling drapes over me. Curious, I try to open it up and have a look. Always gone, it seems. It appears I have got to a point where I am confused, not knowing the route, looking back to where I have gone wrong. But the feeling remains. It is not as if I should run and hide. It is not as if I should stand up on the highest podium, singing aloud for all members of society to hear. It is as if I should be.

Well I suppose you could call it an awakening, where everything moves and talks differently. People engage in conversation and cars flow up and down the highway.

It used to bother me. Perhaps I should not have cared so much to be different. To be a teenage rebel is to stray from the norm, make war with a complacent life and listen to alternative pop instead of pop pop. But what happens when you realise - I was wrong. I have been wrong. I will always be wrong. All because of one thing - there is no right. I can never be right, because there is no right, there is only wrong. So far, that means, I have done right.

Now I can sit and smile. All the years I was a rebel, I was the same. I merely acted out a role in a different group. After shunning all that I once thought was life, I realised something.

Before I get into that, I forgot what else used to bother me. I was so scared of being nobody. Job, partner, kids - never on my list of priorities. I scorned and joked about those who chose that path. But now I see that this is a perfect life - for some. For others, like myself, who choose not to be a part of this will lead a richer life. You don't have to lead or scorn a life - be prepared in knowledge that others live like this and crave nothing else but security. From a young age a purpose in life is set, as plaster is poured into a mould.

I realised that I took a step back. Yes, I just admitted that I took a step back. Now that is being a rebel! No fancy commodification can lure me, that is in the future, in front. No embarrassment can fill me, the screen is in the past, behind. So do not just mock and scorn. If these are your enemies, take from them everything. Use what you need, throw the rest away to rot behind, burning in magma. The rest strengthens your sight to forge new paths ahead. Hammer, sickle, compass and square are no good here - only a smile, pen, book and the wind through your hair.

From my new position I can see what is in front of me.

I can hold the hands of people beside me.

I can be closer to the shaping elements behind me.

I can be me.

This is not too simple a task, do not underestimate the power of being a manifested living human flesh machine. You always have to be in a societal group, you cannot hang around your parents/siblings and you must be a success in every career path you choose. Sound familiar? To me it sounds primitive. Get angry, bash someone. Rebel by being the same as other people. Partner leaves, get depressed. Numbers in a bank account equate to success. Heroes are actors. Now this constitutes primitive behaviour to me.

Now I am doing what many find impossible - I am floating between societal groups. I latch onto nothing. I fly over the top, viewing from above the beauty within. One day here, one day there, swooping in, crawling out. I belong nowhere. I belong nowhere! I am free to do anything. Not because I have nothing - but because I have everything.

On a day, I thought this

2008-04-07T20:04:00.000-07:00

I am thinking. All the time this occurs, the earth rotates around the sun. One day has passed. I thought about some things during this occurrence. Other men/women have thought some things between the sun coming up, then down, then back up again. If only our organic matter could last a seeming eternity. This would ensure that one had enough time to properly think and create new ways of thinking.

Do you need an eternity for that? I dont think so. You need only seconds. Negative thoughts are resounding, but slowly being quashed. I do not have an eternity to think, I only have years. Therefore I better stop wasting my time, descending into life's omnipresent nihilism created by oneself, for oneself. It has never been clearer the extent of the human mind - It is shaped by your thoughts, which are shaped by other people's thoughts, which are shaped by what people think a normal person in society should have thoughts about. Rationality, it seems, is an underestimated tool in one's life. Stupidity, it seems, is an overestimated tool in the search for societal normality within a flesh cage.

Keep your philosophy negative and scathing, and your artworks positive and breathtaking

I. Thoughts

2008-03-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

It is a sullen, rainy autumn's night. Two friends are enjoying the calm, safe indoor atmosphere as the water descends outside. Only the faint light of the television illuminates the soft-coloured lounge, with the warm glow of a halogen light in another room casting an ominous glare through the living room. Alison is sitting on the lounge in a cuddled up position watching the television, a look of amazement to the point of tears upon her face. Enter Jodie, who stands next to the couch watching what is on:

J - It would appear another dogma has failed

A - It would appear all that is dogma and all that surrounds the concept has failed

J - Seriously, it isn't that bad

A - Well, I think it is

J - Well, you should lighten up

A - Well, you should fuck off
(Both ladies erupt in laughter. Jodie takes a seat next to Alison)

A - I can't help but watch TV, there are some amazing things you would not even know of without it

J - You don't have to generalise TV, what about books, pictures, the internet...

A - TV just seems to perfectly marry images and sounds to convey a message

J - Whose message? Not mine. What about the net, you can watch videos, is that the same as TV, or television programs on the net, does that count, or does the different setting throw you off...

A - Ha Ha. Yeah, but it feels as if I was there, touching the history that has shaped my life and future. I am in the room, a helpless fly on the wall as important decisions are made. My eyes and ears are open, but the feeling evokes from the centre of my being

J - And were you there?

A - Well, No, but...

J - So who fucking knows what happened

A - I do, I just watched it manifested in my lounge room

J - O Come on (makes wanking sign with hand)

A - Well what do you know

J - As much as you

A - Don't you feel the pain of thousands before you then?

J - No, why should I? They had theirs now I have mine. The reaction you get from watching a television program and the feelings experienced in a room of people are two completely different constructed things. All constructed for a reason - to evoke a feeling. It isn't a bad thing Alison, watch it, enjoy it, but at the same time, decide what is worth worrying about and what isn't.

A - What about death, is that worth worrying about?

J - Is he or she here?

A - I hope not

J - Not much you could do anyway. Just like there is not much you can do about past generations. Just keep doing what gets you off, woman.

A - watching TV and contemplating life through the shows get me off, Jodie

J - (sighs, happily) - then who am I to complain

(Both parties laugh lightly, knowing full well the subject of death breeched is nothing to laugh at as its fear consumes us all)

The 3 essentials

2008-03-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

It would appear that for the author life has spiralled into three essentials:

1. Time - This always has and always will be. People and events came before, as they will after.

2. Life - Along this spectrum of time there is life. Different people live at different times, but this does not change the essentials.

3. Death - If life had to contain one truth this would be it. Everything that lives must die.

The purpose of this blog is to discuss the above memento mori issues in varying forms of art. The subject matter is hardly macabre, just a fact of life. Therefore battling to discover "truths" is just a valid concept as to "laugh". Perhaps not enough emphasis on life is focused on the latter.

O, life can be terrible until you die
pressure, whinge and whine
It was not until I smirked at death
that life suddenly injected a breath

I deliberately did not conform
bitter and twisted i walked
still that life continues
but now i analyse that stroll
funny arms and legs
wave around
chest beats hard
clothing on to protect the skin
from a world so harsh

i used to scorn at the cross
and all who followed
preached and prayed
until I looked how intricate
the artwork of a man
was here for evermore

i feel his pain, sweat and angst
not by an ethereal empathy syringe
but by the grooves in the wood
made by another human hand

and my tears shall flow
i cannot seem to hold them back
lack of every worthy attribute
in our society not the cause
but the beauty that surrounds me
in every shape and form
inspired by a saviour, nemesis and scorn

please do not forget
the noble stranger will not
learn from mistakes of times gone past
not from the rotting mouth
but the personal symbols, emblems
and inspirations of a wild bunch
ready to laugh at death

a little more intricate than a cross...